not doing so hot!

Been having a tough time trying to find my way. I feel like there are so many areas of my life that have to be worked on, my health, housekeeping, parenting, being a wife....
I know that all these things are inter related because they are all things that I must be but I am struggling with just being overwhelmed. I do not know how to start.
The other day the kids were saying it would be great if we had a robot to do all our chores and the things we do not want to do. I was day dreaming about that. It occurred to me that in the past, people worked much harder than we do today. They got up, carried water, wood, scrubbed clothes by hand, raised much of their food in gardens maintained by hand, took care of their animals and cooked their food from scratch. They rarely or never had days to do nothing. Yet they had better relationships with family and friends as many times they worked together to harvest and can their food or to make a quilt. And they were healthier than we are today for eating better food and physical exercise of daily life.
I wish I could get my life to a more simple place. A place where I was proud of the work that I do to care for my family and home instead of just tired and overwhelmed and just plain whiny about the things that I need to do. Lord Jesus, please help me to have a grateful heart and to learn and do the things that I am made to do with a happy heart.

tortilla shells

yesterday morning, I made home made tortilla shells. I was really pleased with them. I know that I could get better if I practiced this more. I do not think my husband appreciated them though cause he made a special trip to purchase tortilla shells for me.
My first attempt at cooking in a stainless steel pan burnt though. I used my nonstick. I do not know how I will do trying to give those up....

salads!

So, I have been trying to eat a salad each afternoon. I have only missed one day but it requires a lot more self disciple than I feel I have most days. It frequently feels like a terrible chore that I almost dread! It doesn't sound that bad but when I get hungry in the afternoons, I think that means it is time to eat a salad and then I just cringe. But I am trying to press onward. I think eating a salad is important and I want to be in better health so I chose to continue to eat a salad a day.
Our air conditoner stopped blowing in our house last night. It has not been bad with the fans in the windows but I just want to say God is good. I will praise him when the air condioner works and when it doesn't. I chose joy! for the joy of the Lord is my strenght.

new beginnings!

So, my Sarah is 4 1/2 months old and I am at my greatest weight ever.
I am trying to make sure I eat one salad everyday, drink lots of clean water and stay away from the peanut butter. I have been experimenting with more vegetables.
I think Eric may be gluten intolerant. So I have been looking at how to remove gluten from our diets to see if that helps him. I want to get a grain mill and mill my own grain but it is a huge investment. I want to know what kind of steps to take.
Eric will be seeing a doctor next week for his blood pressure and blood sugar. I pray that the doctor has great discernment to determine what he might need.

Restart!

I am going to start focusing on making better health choices again. My baby will be 6 months old in a couple of weeks and I have been stuck at around the weight I came home from the hospital at.
I am adding bursts of physical activity to our day to help the kids release their energy and enjoying my walks outside to feed animals.

weight gain!

I am not sure what caused such a huge jump in weight this week. I haven't weighted myself in several days so I don't know if maybe this 6 pound gain in one week could just be a daily fluctuation or what.
We have been spending lots of time outside enjoying the beautiful weather. Today I am tired and my house is a disaster zone since we just eat and head out. I think I will keep the kids inside for a quiet day this morning and maybe get some cleaning done.
Yesterday, I took the kids to mom's house and we cut potatoes for planting. Dad wants to till the garden one more time before we plant them so maybe this evening or tomorrow.

week 15-16

Well, my ultrasound and doctor's appointment turned out fine. Both showed that I was slightly further along than 15 weeks. I don't yet know if they will move my due date up or leave it where it is. The placenta seems to be okay. What a relief it is to hear that heart beat. Now I have heartburn....

Babysitting over!

I officially had my last day as a babysitter for a little boy that I agreed to watch. I am so relieved. I know that might seem terrible but I was so tired and stressed with trying to guard my own children's hearts while they were around him. We had many more behavior issues too. I now understand how important it is to truly make wiser choices about who my children will be spending time with.
On a more positive note, we will finally be able see the house we are thinking seriously about moving to on Sunday. I am very excited about that. I am hoping that we can live more simply and relaxed there. I am hoping to be able to help my parents with the garden more this year and then we can also eat more healthy garden grown foods. Christina and I debate to reality of getting chickens for eggs, having goats or cow for milk and other simple farm animals. Not sure how far I want to go yet. Just need help now and I would get that if closer to mom. Also getting the kids up and down the stairs has been really hard for me lately. Christina came down and helped me clean the house and cooked lots and lots for us this past week. It was such a blessing.

Week 14

Well, Christina is in town this week to help me out. She actually called the local hospitals for prices for baby delivery so I could determine where I should pick a doctor. She made sure that I had a doctor's appointment too. I was shocked to learn that one hospital was a couple of thousands of dollars higher. Made the choice much easier. They really frowned at me when I turned up in the ER a couple of weeks ago for heavy bleeding for not having a doctor. Turned out everything was ok, I tore lose an edge of the placenta. We are expecting a baby boy in August. I have been trying to not lift the kids and may move sooner than May to be closer to my parents and to stop climbing the stairs.

Stressed and tired

I am so tired of being frustrated with the kids. I told the mother of the little boy I babysit after school that I have about had it. This may be the last week or month that I can watch him. I can't take much more. I am either going to quit or he needs to be a new child. I should not have to threaten to call his mom every single day. I shouldn't get frustrated to the point that I do with him. It is hard because with my own children when they disobey an established rule or ignore a new instruction, I can deal with them promptly and effectively. I don't have the same response from him. He ignores my instruction, when I tell him to sit, he disreguards that too. I have to physically go get him and place him on the couch. (I can not send him to any one's room to calm down because of how destructive he is.) Then the entire time is a huge, ugly ordeal. I am so done with this. Next time I agree to babysit, I will talk to the parent more about how they parent, how the child responds, and if the child has any restrictions as to content that they watch on tv (this obviously has an effect on this little boy, violent cops and robbers games, explict jokes and stories, foul langauge........)

Poor choices catch up

I think that my poor choices are showing up on the scale with my big jump in weight this week. I am sure that the cookies I baked haven't helped any (eating a sugar cookie as I type this.)

Fast food...

I really try to make sure that I limit fast food but this week, I have had fast food every day since Saturday. Today, I shouldn't have any.... Suprised that I didn't add a few pounds these last couple of weeks.
I have discovered the most amazing thing. It is a sharpie marker. I wrote every one's name on their cup. Now the kids mostly drink out of their own cups and keep them on the table. This means that we no longer dirty 25 cups a day (Happened because one child always chunked the cups in the sink even if they had water in them.) Also, mommy's cup is a bit safer, so it is easier to drink water during the day. It is not a perfect system, I have seen a couple of kids pouring water from someone else's cup into theirs or just drink someone else's instead of getting a refill on their own. I am hoping that this will also help with the problem that we have when we take the kids out in public and one child grabs complete strangers drinks off their tables or takes drinks from abandoned drinks at places like the park.

not much has changed

I am still struggling with the same issues. I think I am doing a little better with my water consumption during the day. Also we have had some warmer days, so we have spent some time outside after school. I try to keep walking while we outside. (Helps to keep warm.) Zoey and I have had to run for the bus a few times this last week (I think predawn sprints when it is about 20 degrees outside to flag down a moving bus should count as extra exercise points.)
I have more fruit in my fridge and was almost ashamed to realize how much frozen veggies are in my freezer. Jessica and I are both going to make an effort to include more healthy foods in our meals.

So begins another new year

Well, another new year has began. I am still trying to make the same changes I was trying to make last year....
I am doing a little better with adding fresh fruit to my diet because of feeding the kids snack in the afternoon. We usually have fruit and crackers. Usually apples, oranges, grapes or banana. One day we had pears.
Still doing lousy on limiting my potions to the proper amount. Even when I am full, I will finish my plate or even get seconds on some of my favorite foods.
I have been trying hard to drink more water during the day so that I can spend more hours asleep during the night but when I am with the kids, I haven't done much better.
I have been trying to make sure that I am moving around more. With the kids, I am up and down and everywhere, so I don't think about walking around inside much. I know I can do a lot better than I am doing now.

Christmas has past...

Christmas has past but not all the rich foods. I am still struggling to get up and moving more. I think because it is a break from school (no predawn 200 yard dashes for the school bus with my 3-4 preschooler and kindergartners), I don't want to get up early. The kids do. This causes the days to start out crazy and I spend half the morning or more trying to get things under control again. I need to work on going to bed at a decent time and making sure that I am drinking enough water. (I haven't been drinking water much during the day so I load up at night when things slow down and I realize how thirsty I am. Then I get up at night to go to the bathroom which wakes Liliana who is a light sleeper who then sometimes wakes her brothers....)

going the wrong way

So last week was a tough one for me. I didn't bake cookies (yet) but I did bake a pumpkin pie (that's healthier right?) then I made brownies, then had other desserts and unhealthy snacks like Reese's peanut butter cups......
This week on Wed, I made another pumpkin pie and a no bake cheese cake and a birthday cake for my mom (served with ice cream). I don' think the scale will be nice next week either.....

Emotional rollercoaster

Life feels like an emotional roller coaster right now. I am trying to make sure that I don't over eat especially some sweets just because I am feeling extra emotional. Still I want to bake cookies..... I feel like saying that trying to eat right is not that important to me right now but I also know that poor choices now affect my future. Still very hard.

So here are the holidays...

We have been busy with various things that make life busy. We had a good Thanksgiving and enjoyed time with friends and family. I think that I did fairly well not over eating too much. (Getting sick helped with that.) I still ate lots of dessert.....

Busy week

I can hardly believe another week has passed. This past week has been tough as the kids have been sick. I have made a point to actively play with the kids when they are up and about. I am trying again to add fruit to my diet. This week is Thanksgiving. I am going to try to focus on being Thankful and not just food. I hope to watch my portions and balance the eating with some family activities.

Starting over

I am going to start over again. I am going to try to update at least once a week. It was just too much to do daily.

I have been undiscplined....

I have been eating lots of foods that have been poor choices for my health and not setting good limits on them. I haven't kept a journal either because I know that I have been making poor choices. Tomorrow is a new day. I will start fresh....

Thursday 9-13-07

Breakfast: yogurt 3pt
lunch: chips 3pt
hamburger meat 6 pt
shredded cheese 2pt
tomatos
Supper: Roast 6pt
mashed potatoes 2 pt
pinapples 2 pt
salad
shredded cheese 2pt
ranch dressing 4 pt

water 4

vitamin
Total points: 30

no exercise today. Poor, very interupted night last night

Wednesday

Due to potty training, we aren't doing regular meals. I didn't count points yesterday.
Breakfast: 1/2 protein shake
Lunch: rest of protein shake
Dinner: whole wheat waffles with syrup
1/2 banana
2 pieces thick bacon
scrambled eggs with diced tomatoes
milk

Exercise: 15 abd slides
5 min exercise bike

Tuesday 9-11-2007

breakfast: milk 2 pt

Lunch: 1 chicken thigh 3pt
2 serving mashed potatoes 8pt
vanilla yogurt raisins

Dinner: pork chop 4 pt
strawberries 1 pt
salad
shredded cheese 2pt
ranch dressing 4 pt

various bites of chocolate, candy corn, peanut butter cookies (potty training rewards)

Water: 5
vitamin
Total points: 24+

exercise steps 5 min
dancing silly with children 5 min

Day 5 Monday

Brkfst: 1/2 banana 1 pt
yogurt 2 pt

Lunch: hot dog 5 pt
bun 3 pt
fruit salad 2 pt
water

Supper:2 slices pizza 18 pt
salad
carrots
cucumbers
hard boiled egg 2 pt
ranch dressing 4 pt
Total points: 37


Exercise: 30 abd slides
2 min on exercise bike mod intesity

water 7

vitamin

Day 4 Sunday

not a good diet day. We went to church and then had people over for hot dogs, baked beans, chips, fruit salad and cookies. I ate way too many cookies....... Drank pop, and had fun!

Day 3 Saturday

Breakfast: milk 2 cups 4pt
scrambled eggs 5 pt
sausage 4 pt

Lunch: 4 oz yogurt 2 pt
1 cup water

Supper: BBQ chicken thigh 3 pt
mashed potatoes 4 pt
broccoli 0 pt
dinner roll 3 pt
1 cup water

Total points: 24

Friday

Breakfast: 4 slices of bacon (4pts)
water 8 oz

Lunch: peanut butter/jelly sandwich (7 pts)
1/2 banana (1 pt)
1 cup 1% milk (2 pt)

Supper: Tortilla chips 3 pt
hambuger meat 6 pt
shredded cheese 4 pt
sour cream 2 pt
filling for peanutbutter pie 2 pt
water



Water:4


fruit/veggies: 1


exercise: 10 abd slides
15 min running with kids




Total points: 31

Thursday September 6, 2007

Breakfast: cherrios 2 points
1% milk 1 point

Lunch: 3 slices of frozen pizza 24 points
grapes 1 point

Supper: 1 breakfast pork chop grilled 3 points
small salad 0 points
shredded cheese 3 points
ranch dressing 2 points
deviled egg 4 points
corn on cob 1 point
butter 1 point
sliced strawberries 1 points

43 points total. water 4 cups. veggies 3

beginning point

I now weigh in at 147.9 this morning.
I did 16 abd slides this morning on the torso track.